this and that

So, I usually blog about what I like, food, funny stuff, the ocean, etc. Well, here’s something I do not like- the radio ads for “Ashley Madison”. They suck. (pun intended) Here I am working away on my computer during the day listening to various funny sirius radio programs, having a grand ol’ time. Then, I hear this ad for the slimy website. This has the opposite effect of Corona ads. (I’m not going to say the name again) If you didn’t already know, this website is for married people looking to hook up. Apparently, mostly married guys, with some married women and single women. Ger-ross!! The guy on the ad goes on with numerous arguments to get you to think this is really a rational, and good, idea. Let me get this straight, I can go on line to this germfest and “date” a man with no future, maybe break up a marriage and potentially get killed by his wife? I’d like to see the numbers, and the real pictures of the people that sign up for this. It figures the guy that started this is no pin-up boy. The radio ad itself is creepy, the tag line is ”life is short, have an affair”,  the whole time the commercial is on, there is this creepy funeral dirge playing in the background. Foreshadowing, perhaps?

Weight Watchers understands what happens when “Hungry” shows up, and it’s funny when they tell the story. Not so funny in real life, when your routine lately is to skip going to the gym, and inhale 3 donuts for breakfast. I laugh at the ads (I give them a solid 9 of a scale of 1-10) like a 3 year old, especially when “Hungry” mimics the lady on her laptop, and flips open a pizza box and pretends to type…! OMG!! What a rotten little so and so! The ads are hilarious, who came up with this? I need to meet this comedic genius. (that’s what the post is referring to – “Humor”)

I’d like to ask them why they chose the color orange? Did they use that because it’s the color of the chakra related to hunger? Why doesn’t “Hungry” have a mouth? Will they ever put “Hungry” in a tux? Will they film “Hungry” on vacation overseas? So many questions, I hope they get answered. Maybe he’ll address these himself on his own facebook page. Holy crap, what is this world coming to?

Click here for the second best ad ever. I can’t think of another company that has such a visual impact in their ads. They’re always hypnotising to the point that I question if there are subliminal messages at play. I don’t know of a single person who doesn’t have the same Pavlovian response to Corona ads. You know- instantly your heart rate goes down, your eyelids droop just a smidge, and you could almost smell suntan lotion and the limes that you’re about to jam into an ice cold long neck bottle of Corona. It’s just that immediate. These ads just knock it out of the park every time with no end in sight. With the calming cerulean blue, and the usual place that they have you seated in (either a lounger, hammock, towel, etc.), and …wait a second – they put me into a trance. Are there words to their ads? I can’t recall. I had to check out the website, I guess they are usually just the sound of the waves and the seagulls. Whoever planned out this ad did a fantastic job. Being a person who loves the ocean, especially ones that sound relaxing, this was a great pick. The waves are gentle and not crashing too heavy, the birds seem to be flying and squaking low, and the colors of the water and sand are top notch. Perfecto! This is one of the few ads that piqued my interest enough to do some research on it. I’ve been to Mexico a few times, but next time I will track down this Paamul location where they filmed. I’ll start planning now for the ridiculous picture that I’ll take there that will be a future Christmas card that I will send out to all on my list.

So, I blogged about CRM’s before, and how they can recommend more merch for your dollars to be squandered on. But, what happens when the product and/or your tastes have changed? Case in point: Metallica. I remember the good ol’ days of the underground “Creeping Death” demo. Then the rightful reign of the “Alcoholica” years, roughly from the mid 80’s to the early 90’s. Now- they sound like crap, and Amazon “recommends” the latest jackassery of Metallica’s “Death Magnet”. Oh boy, puh-leeze. It sounds like a few sound bites of old Metallica are mixed in with James trying to actually hold a real tune (instead of ripping your ears off with his previous  death roars) ,Lars plodding away on his drums to a different tune altogether, Kirk is trying to hold back an extended 80’s solo, and poor Robert has eff all to do but hammer away on the bass since he’s the “newbie”. Don’t get me wrong, I strongly recommend anyone with a drink or drug problem to go 12 step it. That is, unless they are a metal band. In that case, do not go to therapy and release all your demons (although the DVD coverage of it, “Some kind of monster” is hilarious in some parts), if that is what is driving your music.

I think my point here is that these recommendations need to be updated at some point. God forbid an actual human were to take a look, or a listen, to what is being recommended in Amazon. Come to think of it “God Forbid”, would have been a better recommendation for a CRM to make for me. Not quite Mastodon, but I shan’t be too picky.

This is arguably the best billboard ad ever. In 2007 all of the women (and approximately 10% of men) in NYC and London were treated to this hypnotizing slice of heaven. David Beckham in all his glory. Talk about a ballsy ad. This 50 foot billboard drove shoppers into a frenzy. There have been many reports of the increase in sales of Emporio Armani men’s underwear- the first week as high as 300% and continuing until today at an increase of 30%. Not too shabby. This particular “out-of-home advertising” should be credited for curing some agoraphobics, I’m sure it had to have happened. What else is there to say about this ad?

Extend his contract!

This jingle is for a self tanning salon company. This would be for a spray-on self-tanning salon like Mystic Tan. The jingle is to promote self-tanning over the old fashioned tanning salons where you get baked by a tanning bed with harmful UV rays. I think I should trademark this: “Mystic tanning- all the color, none of the cancer”.